Months ago, one of my good friends posted a beautiful writing in her Instagram story. I feel like I really need to share it to all of you. Here's what she wrote:
"As a kid, I was really attracted to left-handed people because they are different. Out of the amazement, I started using my left-side for most of the things; playing badminton, soccer-- even the simplest thing like holding a book & wearing a watch (of course I even tried writing & sketching but that's when I know my limit *laughing emoji).
Being different is amazing, but trying to be different by not being yourself is hard. Reflect & find yourself, that's how you're going to be different from everyone else." (Syaurah, @syaurahnb)
I felt like Allah sent her to write this for me as I have been waiting for the right opener (read: push factor) to tell my story. What Im going to share here is a personal story of mine that had impacted me a lot since I was little girl. A story about why I hated being DIFFERENT from others, how I lose my identity and slowly lose my confidence too. I am also going to tell you how I snatched back what is rightfully mine.
Here it goes.
Back in the old days, in my early school years, living as an Indian Muslim child was not easy. Even though Malaysia was already a plural society that time. Malaysia already had many races on its land that time and yet I had to still face racial issue as early as 7 years old. I've had children of my age calling me all sorts of names in my face such as "Keling!", "Hitam!" and even "Hindu!" just because I have darker skin and my features were a little different from them. And so, because of that, I tried to seal my real identity by claiming that I was one of them and that was "A Malay". I also tried to deviate their focus off me by hiding behind my parents' identity. My mother is a medical doctor and my father was an engineer by which people especially from those days look up to. Hence, I managed to not become the topic of the conversation by having my parents as the topic. I was nothing and I was relieved about that as long as people don't give me that alien stare anymore. In fact, they started to talk nicely to me because of my parents' background, I guess they have forgotten that I was the ugly duckling they used to pick on before. Little did I know that time, I was slowly losing my identity.
I thought that being different was a bad thing and so I tried my very best to fit in the group by masking myself with their way of life, their culture, their way of communicating and even the way they appeal. Just like that, I forgot to be who I really was. I was so focused on being who they wanted to see rather than being who I want to look at in the mirror until I don't want to even look at the mirror anymore. I hated myself.
Later in the following years, I entered secondary school with a new mindset of starting fresh. No more hiding behind my parents fame. No more hiding of who I am whenever anyone asks, "Are you an indian muslim?". I am going to answer a yes proudly so that I may gain a little peace at heart. As the invisible social system evolved, Alhamdulillah everything did went well. The best thing was that I found some other indian muslims in the same school. I was not alone anymore. Though, there were still some people trying to discriminate us, for example like not wanting to be in the same group with us, but it was very few of them. Others treated us well. There this, one particular event that knocked me in the head, it was when I realized people treated the other girls who were not Malay but mix Arabian or Western girls very nicely but not like that to me. They were different, yes, so was I, but they were fairer and prettier. That was it. That was when I said to myself, all this while being different was not the problem but it was being dark skinned person. Dark skinned people are like the "ugly" kind of different. I know I can't do anything about it and I know I can not change the way I look because that is what I am originally and what Allah has given me.
Since, I now realize being myself is not something wrong as I was created this way and in fact it is a lot easier to be myself than being some other people, I felt relieved. Gradually, accepting the fact of who I am and embracing it. I should live my life to the fullest with what Allah has given me. Allah has never set any beauty standards that measures the tone of our skin colour, the shape of our face, the weight and curve of our body etc. The only beauty standards that exist are the ones that take Akhlak (characters) into account. So why would I care about the impossible-to-achieve human-set standards when I can actually achieve God's beauty standards?
Hence, I am now Okay being “different”. Now, I believe that being different is not all bad or ugly. Being different is amazing. Being different means I am not the typical person we see everywhere and people would remember be more and easily. I have changed my mindset! I shifted the meaning of the word different in terms of appearance to different in terms of character and value. I want to be differently O.S.E.M! It is an acronym I learnt in one of the Daurah(s) I attended in Sarawak.
(O)utstanding
(S)tudent
(E)xtraordinary
(M)uslim
OSEM in many ways. I'm going to build myself on strong (islamic) foundations. Because apparently, OSEM people are decreasing in our society. So the demand to have and produce OSEM human being is very high. We are in need of people who have good akhlak and at the same time are multi-talented (not just focused on bringing up Ustaz and Ustazah). We need people who has islamic knowledge but at the same time are professional at integrating it with scientific knowledge. We need people who are from the high socio-economic status to come down and go out there, into the community and preach, help the ones in need. We are in need of those sports girls/boys who are active in gyms to also go to masjid(s) and do programs.
Being OSEM is different. :)
Let's do that. Let's try our best to become OSEM.
Forget about those people who assault us for being different in appearance. They maybe ignorant (meaning: do not know, jahil). Forgive them.
We can focus on being different in a good way. The ones that can help us becoming a better slave of Allah swt.
Till then. Assalamualaykum.
"As a kid, I was really attracted to left-handed people because they are different. Out of the amazement, I started using my left-side for most of the things; playing badminton, soccer-- even the simplest thing like holding a book & wearing a watch (of course I even tried writing & sketching but that's when I know my limit *laughing emoji).
Being different is amazing, but trying to be different by not being yourself is hard. Reflect & find yourself, that's how you're going to be different from everyone else." (Syaurah, @syaurahnb)
I felt like Allah sent her to write this for me as I have been waiting for the right opener (read: push factor) to tell my story. What Im going to share here is a personal story of mine that had impacted me a lot since I was little girl. A story about why I hated being DIFFERENT from others, how I lose my identity and slowly lose my confidence too. I am also going to tell you how I snatched back what is rightfully mine.
Here it goes.
Back in the old days, in my early school years, living as an Indian Muslim child was not easy. Even though Malaysia was already a plural society that time. Malaysia already had many races on its land that time and yet I had to still face racial issue as early as 7 years old. I've had children of my age calling me all sorts of names in my face such as "Keling!", "Hitam!" and even "Hindu!" just because I have darker skin and my features were a little different from them. And so, because of that, I tried to seal my real identity by claiming that I was one of them and that was "A Malay". I also tried to deviate their focus off me by hiding behind my parents' identity. My mother is a medical doctor and my father was an engineer by which people especially from those days look up to. Hence, I managed to not become the topic of the conversation by having my parents as the topic. I was nothing and I was relieved about that as long as people don't give me that alien stare anymore. In fact, they started to talk nicely to me because of my parents' background, I guess they have forgotten that I was the ugly duckling they used to pick on before. Little did I know that time, I was slowly losing my identity.
I thought that being different was a bad thing and so I tried my very best to fit in the group by masking myself with their way of life, their culture, their way of communicating and even the way they appeal. Just like that, I forgot to be who I really was. I was so focused on being who they wanted to see rather than being who I want to look at in the mirror until I don't want to even look at the mirror anymore. I hated myself.
Later in the following years, I entered secondary school with a new mindset of starting fresh. No more hiding behind my parents fame. No more hiding of who I am whenever anyone asks, "Are you an indian muslim?". I am going to answer a yes proudly so that I may gain a little peace at heart. As the invisible social system evolved, Alhamdulillah everything did went well. The best thing was that I found some other indian muslims in the same school. I was not alone anymore. Though, there were still some people trying to discriminate us, for example like not wanting to be in the same group with us, but it was very few of them. Others treated us well. There this, one particular event that knocked me in the head, it was when I realized people treated the other girls who were not Malay but mix Arabian or Western girls very nicely but not like that to me. They were different, yes, so was I, but they were fairer and prettier. That was it. That was when I said to myself, all this while being different was not the problem but it was being dark skinned person. Dark skinned people are like the "ugly" kind of different. I know I can't do anything about it and I know I can not change the way I look because that is what I am originally and what Allah has given me.
Since, I now realize being myself is not something wrong as I was created this way and in fact it is a lot easier to be myself than being some other people, I felt relieved. Gradually, accepting the fact of who I am and embracing it. I should live my life to the fullest with what Allah has given me. Allah has never set any beauty standards that measures the tone of our skin colour, the shape of our face, the weight and curve of our body etc. The only beauty standards that exist are the ones that take Akhlak (characters) into account. So why would I care about the impossible-to-achieve human-set standards when I can actually achieve God's beauty standards?
Hence, I am now Okay being “different”. Now, I believe that being different is not all bad or ugly. Being different is amazing. Being different means I am not the typical person we see everywhere and people would remember be more and easily. I have changed my mindset! I shifted the meaning of the word different in terms of appearance to different in terms of character and value. I want to be differently O.S.E.M! It is an acronym I learnt in one of the Daurah(s) I attended in Sarawak.
(O)utstanding
(S)tudent
(E)xtraordinary
(M)uslim
OSEM in many ways. I'm going to build myself on strong (islamic) foundations. Because apparently, OSEM people are decreasing in our society. So the demand to have and produce OSEM human being is very high. We are in need of people who have good akhlak and at the same time are multi-talented (not just focused on bringing up Ustaz and Ustazah). We need people who has islamic knowledge but at the same time are professional at integrating it with scientific knowledge. We need people who are from the high socio-economic status to come down and go out there, into the community and preach, help the ones in need. We are in need of those sports girls/boys who are active in gyms to also go to masjid(s) and do programs.
Being OSEM is different. :)
Let's do that. Let's try our best to become OSEM.
Forget about those people who assault us for being different in appearance. They maybe ignorant (meaning: do not know, jahil). Forgive them.
We can focus on being different in a good way. The ones that can help us becoming a better slave of Allah swt.
Till then. Assalamualaykum.
You are beautiful just the way you are. Sarangahae muneeraaa <3
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